The Tour of the Old Man

The title explains it all.   And for those less initiated to "babelfish" the blog title, it is same phrase in French.  Thus, we embark on our Tour de Vieil Homme.  (Tour of the Old Man).   Hence forth known simply as "The Tour", with proper deference, of course, to the only slightly more well known cycling tours.  Our GC rider, Kelly Davis, is turning 50 years old and to "celebrate", two old domestiques (Brian Jackson and myself) are escorting him through the Blue Ridge Parkway on bicycles.  Saturday, September 4th, we embark on 470 miles of incredible views of the famous parkway.  All from the comfort of a narrow wedge of a bicycle seat.   My initial plan is to give quick daily updates on our adventure and progress, including the descriptions of the majesty of the mountains as well as all the aches and pains that must be endured.  Which is to say, that this may be my one and only update....time will tell.

As with most celebrated Tours, we have designated jerseys for each discipline.  You may recognize them as they have been copied by some foreign country cycling race.   (Litigation is pending.)  In our case, we have predetermined the winner prior to the event because....well, it our tour and we can do whatever we want.  Our Yellow Jersey has, of course, been awarded to Kelly Davis, as this event is in honor of him and yes, he is our "Overall Leader".   Besides, its his birthday and we did not get him anything else.   Brian Jackson has been awarded the Green Jersey as the points leader, which typically is earned by the best sprinter.   The sprinters are usually the bigger boys, and he certainly qualifies.   I have earned the (or more specifically awarded to myself) the Polka Dot jersey as the "King of the Mountains".    This jersey is typically won by the smallest of riders, as it is hard to haul 200lbs up a mountain.   Hence, I qualify for that.   (Someone also mentioned that the polka dots also speak to my effeminate tendencies.....but that is just mean, man.)

Regardless of our predestined awards, we have spent the last year preparing for the ride and making plans on how hard we must train to be able to conquer the required distance and climbs, only to underwhelm ourselves with our actual results.   Nevertheless, we are all stronger on our bikes than we were a year ago.  Even so, the reality of the pending ride is now upon us and we are simultaneously excited and apprehensive.  (editor note:  I fake apprehension to make my partners feel better).   Our first day is 83 miles of mostly climbing that ends at the Peaks of Otter.   In itself, that is not bad.   Been there, done that...as they say.   However, we then have to get up and do it again....and again....and again....and (OK you get the picture).  By day five they may have to employ threats of death and dismemberment to get me back in the saddle. 

Who am I kidding.  I cannot wait for this to start.  We are all done with the training and the taunts.  We are packed with enough tools, spare parts, fuel supplements and of course salve to get us from Virginia to Cherokee, NC.   The bikes are tuned and the logistics are set.   All that is left to do now is to get to the Parkway, get on our bikes, put our heads down and start pedaling and pedaling and pedaling.....culminating in the celebratory cigars on Mr Davis' birthday at the southern terminus.   Candidly, the only thing I am worried about is that Brian and Kelly may slow me down.   Let the Tour begin......